If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
- “Knock, knock.”
- “Who’s there?”
- very long pause….
- “Java.”
- : -o
A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest...
- A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
- “Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…”
- The civil engineer breaks in: “But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.”
- The programmer thinks a bit and then says: “And who do you think created chaos?”
A void is slightly different to a vacuum. But there’s probably not much in it.
Which programming language should I learn first?
- To program in an expressive and powerful language: Python
- To get a website up quickly: PHP
- To mingle with programmers who call themselves “rockstars”: Ruby.
- To really learn to program: C.
- To achieve enlightenment: Scheme.
- To feel depressed: SQL
- To drop a chromosome: Microsoft Visual Basic
- To get a guaranteed, mediocre, but well paying job writing financial applications in a cubicle under fluorescent lights: Java.
- To do the same thing with certifications and letters after your name: C#
- To achieve a magical sense of childlike wonder that you have a hard time differentiating from megalomania: Objective C
A class walks into a hardware store and asks the assistant to pointer him in the direction of a file
- what did the database say to the unit test?
- stop mocking me!
How many DBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
How many PHP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?
